Is it just me, or is Jimmy kinda hot?

I have to say, men with intelligence (or random factual knowledge) are highly attractive. I'm watching Jeopardy, and Jimmy, a thirty-something, average-looking male is just whipping ass, and I would so do him right now.

Tony gave me the rest of his Captain Morgan's last night, and I've completely molested that bottle in the past few minutes. It makes me feel better than any other kind of alcohol.

Who needs a bar?

Catch the wave.

I just decided to steal this from Deanna because as long as I sit here, typing, I look like I'm being productive.

A - Available?: Nope!
A - Age: 21
A - Annoyance: When I go to fill out an online survey (because I'm in junior high) and the questions are all "Who's your crush?" "Who do you want to kiss?" Half the survey says "Wayne" and I feel super lame.

B - Best Drink: The Redheaded Slut; vodka and cherry juice, or one of B's chocolate Martinis (heavenly choir, "Ahhhhhh")
B - Bar: The one in my tongue. Alas, I've never visited a bar, pub, or speakeasy with the other dames.
B - Birthday: December 31, 1984

C - Crush: No one, really, but I wouldn't turn down a handshake from Santino Rice, or Brian Viglione
C - Car: 1995 Dodge Intrepid, the Hulk.
C - Cat: Not anymore.

D - Dead Pet's Name: Murphy (the kitty)
D - Dads Name: Robert
D - Dog: Freddie (Silkie Terrier) and Pongo (Dalmatian, duh)

E - Easiest person to talk to: The voice-activated operator for the Downeaster Train
E - Eggs: Unfertilized!
E - Email: Yes please!

F - Favorite color: Green!
F - Food: Greasy, disgusting McDonald's fries.
F - Foreign Slang: Culero, Spanish for "asshole"

G - Gummy Bears or Worms: ooh, worms
G - God: I believe in it
G - Good Times: Pool, or dinner with Josh and Ms Shauna White

H - Hair Color: Natural reddish-brown
H - Height: 5'9"
H - Happy: Birthday!

I - Ice Cream: Fenway Fudge
I - Instrument: I wish I could play the guitar.
I - Idol: American. That show is like pure crack to me.

J - Jewelery: Two pairs of earrings, a cartilege, nose stud, tongue bar, and another pair of barbells where the average person can't see.
J - Job: None. I'm scraping the bottom of the employment barrel.
J - Jokes: either totally cheesy, or deadpan to the point of uncomprehendible subtlety.

K - Kids: Eventually. Right now I rent one called Kailey.
K - Karate: For awhile in Jr High, and again in High School. I left with a few months left before my blackbelt, which I wish I hadn't done.
K - Kung Fu: No thanks.

L - Love: means being able to say, "Sorry, honey, I have a headache."
L - Longest Car Ride: The twenty-something hours to florida.
L - Longest Relationship: The one I'm in, which is currently 17 months

M - Milk Flavor: Chocolate
M - Mothers Name: Brenda
M - Movie Last Watched: Braveheart

N - Number of Siblings: Four
N - Northern or Southern: Northern
N - Name: Francesca Antoinette? That's the most obnoxious one I know.

O - One Wish: to have my own home while I'm still young enough to enjoy it.
O - One Phobia: Falling on ice.
O - Otter Pop: Thanks for the google. http://www.prehensile.com/tales/otter/otter.htm

P - Parents, are they married or divorced: Married, happily
P - Part of your appearance you like best: My eyes, my shoulders
P - Part of your Personality you like best: Deviant humor

Q - Quick or Slow: quick-witted, but slow to comprehend
Q - Quail: Partridge?
Q - Queen: good fun music

R - Reason to smile: Its good for your face
R - Reality TV Show: America's Next Top Model and Project Runway
R- Righty or Lefty: Righty

S - Song Last Heard: Braveheart Theme (i'm watching the movie)
S - Season: Late spring, late summer, early fall.
S - Sex: Right this second? I suppose so.

T - Time you woke up: 8-ish
T - Time Now: 5-ish
T - Time for bed: 11-ish (I live in a clockless world)

U - Unknown Fact about me: I was the first explorer to circumnavigate the earth via ship.
U - Unicorns: Tom Cruise in "Legend"
U - You are: Obviously Unable to spell

V - Vegetable you hate: Olives (are those vegetables?)
V - Vegetable you love: Broccoli (yum)
V - View on Politics: I don't believe everything Bush does is right, but I don't believe he's all wrong just because he's socially awkward.

W - Worst Habits: Watching "reality" tv
W - Where are you going to travel next: We might head down to Tennessee for awhile in May
W - Waffles: Oh, yum. Now I'm hungry.

X - X-Rays: a dozen or so on my ankles and right leg, and a dozen and a half on my ovaries
X - X-Rated: how much are you payin'?
X - Xylophone: Not since Jr High

Y - Year you were born: 1984
Y - Year it is now: Do you really think this is an ageless survey? Fucktard.
Y - Yellow: Snow. (I added a W, you'll get my bill in 3-5 business days.)

Z - Zoo Animal: The Liger (bred for it's skills in magic)
Z - Zodiac: Capricorn
Z - Zoolander: Um, earth to Miranda, I was at a day spa. D-A-I-Y-E.

Crazy beyond the beyonds.

Ugh. Lordy, lordy, Grandmama is here. I'm stuck here with Father Tony, and his crazy-ass mother: a tall, batty, blonde we call Grandmama.

The latest batty event was a moment ago, when Grandmama, who was in the livingroom, called Tony, who was in the kitchen, on her cell phone. I heard:

-Tony's cell phone rings (Godfather theme)-

Tony: What, Mom?
GMama: Not now, Tony, I am on the phone.

-Another ring, sound of phone flipping open-

Tony: Erm... hello?
GMama: Oh, so sorry. I think I have a wrong number. Thank you, bye-bye.
Tony: That's my mother.
GMama: Tony, I had the wrong number. I think I called you.

I think my life needs a soundboard. If I had one, I would totally have played the Seinfeld riff there.

Call me crazy if you want to..

..but I want to express what made me decide to go to school.

I was in church Sunday, and Jaimey's message was on Hebrews 11:7, which is the beginning of a list of accomplishments by people of faith. "By faith" Noah built the ark and saved humanity, "by faith" Abraham fathered a nation, and Jaimey's point was that everyone should be able to contribute to a similar list. He said that if we feel there's a direction we should go, to stop questioning it and just do it. So, I'm doing it.

And I realized that just because I become a lawyer doesn't mean I have to stay one if I don't like it.

Hour of Sacrifice

Alright! God!

Law school it is.

Life in the Hood.

Grey's Anatomy, Grey's Anatomy! I'm so in love!

DBR*, I'm bitter (*Don't Bother Reading)

I have had a munchkin dogging my heels all day, whining and demanding Elmo. I've bathed, fed, and entertained her by myself all day today, just like last weekend. I'm fed up, I'm bored, I want a grownup. Then, my grownup comes home, and without any discussion, decides it's time to return the rented furniture we share in favor of getting himself a laptop. Then, he moves our furniture out and moves in two castoff recliners; one a dusky pink parlor-chair that doesn't so much recline as lift your feet a couple inches off the floor, and the other a big, brown, pot- and warehouse-scented La-Z-Boy. All the time (and Christmas money!) spent coordinating this room is gone, not even six weeks since it's makeover. The place looks awful.

I've had promises of moving the extra toys into the shed, and of sorting and storing the few hundred videos, DVDs, and records in stacks around the room. I've had promises of going grocery-shopping. And what's happening? He's sitting in the chair watching the Olympics. I'm tired of this. I hate stuff, and if this spans another weekend, I'm doing it alone, and he can deal with it.

I'm sad, because we've become the Bunkers and he thinks it's cute. He has "his" chair (the La-Z-Boy, surprise, surprise) and I have "mine" ("Cause it's pink! You like pink!") and he keeps calling me E-dit (Bunker style, you know?) And if it hadn't been such a downer of an afternoon, that would crack me up. But I want my couches back.

Elmo in Grouchland

Ernie: "It's ok, Bert, the movie's not over yet."
Bert: "Oh, you mean good things can still happen?"
Ernie: "Yes, Bert. In fact, I'm sure good thins will happen, because who'd want to see a movie with a sad ending?"
Bert: "Titanic."
Ernie: "What?"
Bert: "Titanic had a sad ending."
Ernie: "No, Bert. Roll the film!"
Bert: "Gone With the Wind? Dr Zhivago?"

This... is what gets me through babysitting.

Huxley: Ahh, It's a beautiful day! My sun is shining, my birds are chirping, and my humungous chicken has defeated Elmo!
Bug: No!
Huxley: Yes! And the Woobie is mine, for keepsies! The Woobie is mine for keepsies!
Elmo: Stop right there, Huxley!
Huxley: The little piece of macrame lives!

This, and the fact that she says "Ewwww" in a totally disgusted tone whenever she sees a sock.

Writhe and Shine

I'm trying very hard right not to not resent being left home alone with her again.

And, for the record, he didn't bring her home last weekend, and I ended up watching her all day Monday, too.

When I grow up..

Does anyone out there think that a career in psychology with photography as a sideline career would be enough to please my mother?

Heh. Neither do I. It isn't law school.

I never knew my mother was so.... Jewish.

Why can't UNH offer photography and Psych at the same time? That would make life easy, that's why.

The French are bred to die for love...

In which I discuss my relationship at length, the good, the bad, and the borderline-psychotic. If any of that has the potential to upset any of my readers (all three of you), just skip to the last paragraph. No hard feelings, I promise.

It's disturbing how much I want to have a wedding. Not so much get married, but just have a wedding. 'Tis the season, and there are wedding shows all over town and all over the television. My favorite show is "Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?" which tracks demanding brides and their upscale weddings. The men barely factor in, which is sad, but they tend to be the type to let their girls take their ideas and run anyway. When I get bored, I got to theknot.com and plan a "wedding". Sick, I know.

Things with Wayne are great (thanks to B for asking *grin*). We had a conversation where we argued his potential. As an aside- who else, other than Wayne, would argue with someone saying they're smart?* I mean like, getting angry, door-slamming arguing. Anyway, he wanted to join the mechanic program at a local college, and I think he's better than that. He could go so much farther than that, and I don't think anyone's ever said that to him before. I would love for him to be an apprentice electrician, because that line of work is more his speed than mechanics would be. I think he wants it, too, but every time he comes close to becoming an apprencice, he drops the ball and talks about a safer job, like garage work or something similar.

*He also argued with me that he wasn't nice to me. He told my dad he yells at me when my dog destroys things, and I said, "No, you don't, you're totally sweet about it. You just ask if I can pick it up at some point." He tried, at length, to convince my family he was a hardass and got upset when no one believed him. That's my honey.

Since I told him he is smart and I believe he will succeed if he is willing to try, the change has been un. real. (I'm getting all emo thinking about it.) He is acting more grown up, more confident, more intelligent. It's like he was hiding who he was because he thought he had to fit a role. Seeing him like this makes me love him like crazy, and I'm very proud to be with him.

Are we ready to have a wedding? Heeeeeck, no. Although we did entertain the thought for a few hours, after my mother made a comment that we weren't sure how to interpret. We've came to the conclusion that even we ask alot of each other, but I think we think it's good. Tell me if this doesn't make sense, but I know that on my end, at least, I ask alot of him because I want him to become the man that I can spend my life with. Crazy? P'raps. But why bother wasting time? ;-)

If feels weird writing all this here. Maybe I've gone too far. But, again, what's the point of a journal for your friends if you can't tell your friends what's up? *sigh*

I'm very happy, guys. That's the bottom line. I'm happy, and I'm getting antsy.

Don't leave me high... and dry.

I have to admit, I'm a sucker for a good campaign. I'm not generally an impulse-buyer, but that's only cause I am generally poor. However, the other day I saw the add for Fahrenheit and was, as usual, ocnvinced that THIS IS THE ONE. It's a supplement that supposedly ups your metabolism, "two years in the making" etc. etc. etc. Drawwww meeee innnn.

This stuff is WILD. I took one little red pill and after about fifteen minutes, my feet started to sweat. I mean steamy, unladylike, can't-walk-on-tile perspiration. As soon as I stood up, I felt misty everwhere else, too. I see why they call this stuff Fahrenheit; I'm not hot, but I'm sweating like a fat kid at a barbecue.

Then came the energy. Not the jittery kind, but the kind that makes you look at room and think, "This could be so much cleaner!" If any of you know me, you know that wasn't a revelation I came to on my own. So after two loads of laundry and some bathroom scrubbing, I did Pilates and some additional stretching... with weights. I went beyond my normal abilities, and now cannot move, even though I'm still on a rush. It's been a long time since I typed this fast.

This is fun.