Wind her up and watch her go.

Ahhh, Nothing better than having more nothing to say when coming back from a dry spell.

There's something in the water at Poe,* Inc. Every lady of breeding age and up is either unable to have kids or is *thisclose* to dropping a litter right there in their cubicle. Other than Jess, who has been there only two weeks, and myself, chances of finding a girl our age without at least a second trimester bump are about as good as finding a pair of jeans without a dip-ring down at the bar. I've started bringing bottled water to work, just in case. Adam and Michele were nice enough to point out, as well, that we are their "representatives" to the hordes of mothers-to-be, and that we should start farming ourselves out as well for credibility's sake.

I'm alllll set with that.

Oh, the bar. Ohhh, the bar. I'm not going to ooze and talk about how fun and great it is, cause... it's not. It's a small, loud, slightly smelly place with a soft-liquor only license and a gold stripper's pole. I hate to say it, but the only people I've seen use the pole in any capacity were a short, squat woman whose face was a good imitation of a treasure troll - she used it for dancing, I felt like taking a romantic gasoline bath with a lit match - and Wayne's uncle Ricky. Uncle Ricky started to dance on the pole, but shortly thereafter was using it to hold on to so he wouldn't fall off the floor. Uncle Ricky is good people.** Uncle Ricky put me on his bar tab. He has also given many a lap-dance (to many people), taught me how to (eat? drink? slurp?) jell-o shots (long island iced tea jello shots are a terrible concept; don't ever subject anyone you care about to them). Uncle Ricky made me a regular at the bar on my first night and introduced me to everyone. The first step in through the door is awesome; the saturday night crowd pretty much knows me as "One of Rick's kids". I get hugs and drinks and a chair and cigarettes (though I don't smoke, the gesture's friendly). It's a bunch of slightly messed up people who have bonded into a large, disfunctional family; in fact, Wayne got up early this morning to help the owner clean the patio for a live band performance later this weekend.

Summer is so close I can smell it. I'm looking forward to, and dreading, summer. Summer is when I wish I were way skinnier and could tan, so it's the low-self-esteem season, but it's also the boats! and water! and sunshine! season. I'm feeling homesick for summer and the family-ness of it. There's something going on every weekend, usually; always somewhere to go and someone to visit with that makes this season so unique.

Oooh! Before I go, read this line, ok? If you read nothing else, read this line:

There is a Dresden Dolls concert at Hampton Beach on July Fourth, along with The Hush Sound and Panic At The Disco. All ages, $20, 7:30. Go.



*Place of Employment. I shan't be dooced.

**My love/hate relationship with regional rules of grammar continues.

Doin' It and Doin' It and Doin' It Well

1. What Time did you get up? 7:15

2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds. They're prettier, and a better investment in case the relationship ends.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Ice Age II (worth every penny.)

4. What is your favorite TV show? I heartily enjoy the Sopranos and the occasional Jeopardy.

5. What did you have for breakfast? A peanut butter granola bar

6. What is your middle name? Renee

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Deanna's answer to this question proves we're related.. other than Italian seafood dishes, I love me some Japanese food.

8. What foods do you dislike? I'm not a fan of fried food, ever.

9. Your favorite Potato chip? I don't enjoy chips.

10: What is your favorite CD at the moment? The Dresden Dolls debut CD

11. What kind of car do you drive? a crapmobile.

12. Favorite sandwich? The ranch wraps from Googie's.

13. What characteristics do you despise? People who refuse to allow others to correct improper word usage and continue to force incorrect usages into conversation, people who leap to the jingle their cell phones, elitists, homeless unemployed couch-sleeping slackers.

14. Favorite item of clothing? I have a black hoodie I got from Marissa about four years ago. It's thin as newspaper at this point and has the emo thumb-holes in the sleeves. I am Linus, it is my blanket.

15 If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Tuscany.

16. What color is your bathroom? This might be sad. I don't actually know what color my bathroom is. And I'm too comfortable to go look.

17. Favorite brand of clothing? Brand? Huh? Pass my hoodie, please.

18. Where would you want to retire to? Well, I was going to say "Wherever my family is," but now that I read Deanna's idea, I want to steal it.

19. Favorite time of day? Five-thirty. That's when I get home.

20. Where were you born? Between my mother's knees.

21. Favorite sport to watch? Hockey, closely followed by futbol.

22. Who do you least expect to send this back? Well, since I'm not sending it out, I'm only holding out hope for maybe Lucy and Bridey.

23. Person you expect to send it back first? Um.

24. What laundry detergent do you use? Whatever's in the cupboard this week. (We go through a lot of laundry detergent.)

25. Coke or Pepsi? Last I checked, "Diet" was two syllables. I go for water, soda hurts my tummy.

26. Are you a morning person or night owl? I'm a "whatever time cool things are happening" person.

27. What size shoe do you wear? 8 1/2W. I am teh Bigfoot.

28. Do you have pets? I have two dogs, and I sort of have a cat at my mom's.

29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with Us? Ah, the regal "We". I got a job. A good job, in a legal department at a collection agency. And I decided on a name for my firstborn son (for, you know, when I actually get married and have children), who will be named for the Man in Black.

30. What did you want to be when you were little? Bigger.

31. Favorite Candy Bar? Snickers

32. What are your best childhood memories? Playing with the Christmas ornaments at my Aunt Donna's, and going to Camp Advenchur

33. What are the different jobs you have had in your Life? counselor, assistant chef, cashier, toy salesperson, penis pill telemarketer(ish), paralegal, machine operator, legal assistant.

34. What color underwear are you wearing? Grey boy boxers.

35. Nickname(s): I was "Daisy" at camp, "Beaner" also (I miss Caesar), "Spaz" (Lucy's term of endearment) and "Charlie", but that's only by my friends inside the computer.

36. Piercing? Tongue, ears twice, cartilage, nose, and two others

37. Eye color? Um.. Brown.

38. Ever been to Africa? No.

39. Ever been toilet papering? About ten minutes ago. (Ew!)

40. Love someone so much it made you cry? I had a cat once that I had to get rid of.

41. Been in a car accident? One sort-of smashup when my mom's Honda skidded on snow and down a hill.

42. Croutons or bacon bits? Croutons.

43. Favorite day of the week? Saturday, because I'm off work, and Kailey's not overtired yet.

44. Favorite restaurant? I like the Yangtze because they have the pink firey thingies.

45. Favorite flower? (God, this is getting creepy) Gerbera Daisies and those orangey-pink roses.

46. Favorite ice cream? Anything chocolate.

47. Disney or Warner Brothers? A book, thanks. (Oooh, snobbery.)

48. Favorite fast food restaurant? Wendys!

49. What color is your bedroom carpet? Again with the sadness. I assume it's blue, but I can't even promise I have carpet.

50. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Once. I hit the curb immediately out of the driveway, and the fucker didn't tell me I failed until I took the whole test and got back to the building.

51. Before this one, from whom did you get your last Email? Um, LegalSupport at work, sending me file information. (I am Dilbert, hear me roar.)

52. Which stores would you choose to max out your Credit card? I wouldn't, but I'd max out yours at Long's Jewelers and then hit up Barnes and Noble. I'd probably swing through Shaw's, too, because we're short on groceries. So, um.. when do I get the card?

53. What do you most often do when you are bored? Sleep, lately.

55. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire? I will give anyone a dollar to rephrase that question and make it less awkward.

56. Last person you went to dinner with? Wayne the Brain.

57.What are you listening to right now? The ringing in my ears, the bitching from the couch.

59. What is your favorite color? Clear.

60. Lake, Ocean or river? Oceans are home, and rivers are just good fun. Lakes sit and get slimy on the bottom, and fish poop and it just sits there.

61. How many tattoos? None.

62. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Didn't the rooster have to come at some point? (Oooh, logic AND sex. That's why I'm awesome.)

63. Who sent this to you and what is something you didn't know about him/her? Well, Deanna just kinda threw it out there, and I was surprised at how many responses I just had to copy cause they were what I would've said if I had answered first.

65. How many times have you been arrested? Never, and what a wonderful note on which to finish.

Doooo it.

1. Reply with your name and I will write something random about you.
2. I will then tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I will pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I will say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I will tell you my first memory of you.
6. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll then ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your LJ


I got "tagged" (she said, as if she were sure of the meaning) on Deanna's blog, so here's one for her:

1. You are one of the few to appreciate the beauty of a yurt.
2. "She Works Hard For The Money"... cause sure, you work, but more because hearing you sing it in Latino Poolboy voice was more entertaining (slash scarring) than the movie itself.
3. Lemon-lime, made with rum. Jello shot wrestling is so your style.
4. "Thinking of you... and how I hope it burns when you pee."
5. You've technically always been there, but the earliest distinct memory I have is of you trying to kick your own butt while running. Foreshadowing of the genius yet to emerge? I think so.
6. Strangely enough, I think you're a lemur. Secretly. You seem the type to have stripes and hang out in trees. That or a vicuna, because you understand as well as I do the need to use words as soon as you learn what they are.
7. What are you going to do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk?