Piercers

No, Lu dear, you didn't inspire this. You were around when it was inspired but, (being the combat boots to my stilettos!) could not have incited this.

Please, please listen to me. I don't have much metal protruding from my body. Perhaps I never will. But I am here to draw the line of good manners for all the virgins out there. Good manners include keeping your negative opinion to yourself. Good manners include keeping the positive comments to a minimum, I didn't do this for your sake. Good manners include, if I do answer your questions, and you still are "icked", go away. I don't want your snivelling. I sound like a jerk, but I'm tired of hearing it. Honestly. Your mother would be upset. You don't just walk up to people on the street and tell them what you think of their personal choices. You wouldn't do it at Weight Watchers, or an abortion clinic, so why would you condemn me for having metal in my body when all I want is a coffee?

In what context is this line appropriate?:

"Oh my word, I don't know how you could have something like that on your body. I mean, its sick. I feel gross just looking at it. Why would you do that to yourself?"

Is it: When you see an immensely fat woman waddling down the grocery aisle with tight clothes and a halter-top?

Or, is it: When you notice a girl on the sidewalk, with a piercing somewhere other than the lobes of the ears; perhas the tragus, the septum, or superior fraenum (just.. cause sometimes I like to show it off)?

If you answered A: You are wrong. Sit down. That would hurt her feelings! Are you really that heartless? You may just get slapped with a harassment lawsuit and those aren't fun. You may get actually bitch-slapped by a meaty, bacon-scented palm. (Mmm, ther's nothing so satisfying as an offensive assumption!) Even though this woman has adorned herself in an "unflattering" (to you) manner, and has flaunted her "repulsive" (to you) obesity openly, as if she were proud of her body -and god forbid anyone be proud despite imperfections- I believe we would all kindly resist the temptation to walk up to her and comment on it, because it is bad manners. It. Is. Rude.

Now. Who answered B? Look ashamed. Do it, I'll wait. Now read, assholes: Piercing is a choice made by many people as an adornment to their body, either to be more visually appealing, or to feel sensations that don't come naturally to everyone. Why do you feel comfortible walking up to a complete stranger to comment on their body? You'd be afraid to ask someone, "Nice shoes! Where did you get them?", but you will not hesitate to ask what shop the piercing's from, how much it cost, why I did it, but you will then have the balls to turn and tell me how repulsive it is that I chose to decorate myself this way. I'm sorry, what? You say I did this for attention, so I should take what I get? Wrong again (you are like, so striking out). I did this for me. I am a selfish bitch, therefore mine is the only happiness I care about, and therefore I am the only one I look to for validation. I don't need you giving me the "go ahread" to alter myself.

A good game plan on your little opinion-commentary is this: if you wouldn't say it to the fat girl at the summer concert who thought the bikkini was a good idea, don't say it to me about my cartilage, or tongue, or skin. (Or tragus, ill-mannered wench.)

The only one who cares if I have metal in my skin is you, because you don't get it. And you won't, unless you experiment, but that would require an open mind.