The HTML *Experience*

Who likes to experiment?

All you could hear was, *Ka-Chunk Ka-Chunk, Ka-Chunk*

If anyone understands the reference in the above title, you win a special prize. See me after the show.

I'd like to welcome to my body two new piercings. I think you'll find it comfortible here, folks. Congrats on the big move!

Wayne's trying to talk me into putting up pictures on myspace, but I think that might be pushing it. Let me know if you want to see, though, I'm more comfortible with sharing than I thought I would be.

Well, li'l Miss Manners

It might just be my own feelings, but isn't it a little rude when I'm interrupted just because I stutter when I'm nervous, and you think you know what I'm going to say?

Piercers

No, Lu dear, you didn't inspire this. You were around when it was inspired but, (being the combat boots to my stilettos!) could not have incited this.

Please, please listen to me. I don't have much metal protruding from my body. Perhaps I never will. But I am here to draw the line of good manners for all the virgins out there. Good manners include keeping your negative opinion to yourself. Good manners include keeping the positive comments to a minimum, I didn't do this for your sake. Good manners include, if I do answer your questions, and you still are "icked", go away. I don't want your snivelling. I sound like a jerk, but I'm tired of hearing it. Honestly. Your mother would be upset. You don't just walk up to people on the street and tell them what you think of their personal choices. You wouldn't do it at Weight Watchers, or an abortion clinic, so why would you condemn me for having metal in my body when all I want is a coffee?

In what context is this line appropriate?:

"Oh my word, I don't know how you could have something like that on your body. I mean, its sick. I feel gross just looking at it. Why would you do that to yourself?"

Is it: When you see an immensely fat woman waddling down the grocery aisle with tight clothes and a halter-top?

Or, is it: When you notice a girl on the sidewalk, with a piercing somewhere other than the lobes of the ears; perhas the tragus, the septum, or superior fraenum (just.. cause sometimes I like to show it off)?

If you answered A: You are wrong. Sit down. That would hurt her feelings! Are you really that heartless? You may just get slapped with a harassment lawsuit and those aren't fun. You may get actually bitch-slapped by a meaty, bacon-scented palm. (Mmm, ther's nothing so satisfying as an offensive assumption!) Even though this woman has adorned herself in an "unflattering" (to you) manner, and has flaunted her "repulsive" (to you) obesity openly, as if she were proud of her body -and god forbid anyone be proud despite imperfections- I believe we would all kindly resist the temptation to walk up to her and comment on it, because it is bad manners. It. Is. Rude.

Now. Who answered B? Look ashamed. Do it, I'll wait. Now read, assholes: Piercing is a choice made by many people as an adornment to their body, either to be more visually appealing, or to feel sensations that don't come naturally to everyone. Why do you feel comfortible walking up to a complete stranger to comment on their body? You'd be afraid to ask someone, "Nice shoes! Where did you get them?", but you will not hesitate to ask what shop the piercing's from, how much it cost, why I did it, but you will then have the balls to turn and tell me how repulsive it is that I chose to decorate myself this way. I'm sorry, what? You say I did this for attention, so I should take what I get? Wrong again (you are like, so striking out). I did this for me. I am a selfish bitch, therefore mine is the only happiness I care about, and therefore I am the only one I look to for validation. I don't need you giving me the "go ahread" to alter myself.

A good game plan on your little opinion-commentary is this: if you wouldn't say it to the fat girl at the summer concert who thought the bikkini was a good idea, don't say it to me about my cartilage, or tongue, or skin. (Or tragus, ill-mannered wench.)

The only one who cares if I have metal in my skin is you, because you don't get it. And you won't, unless you experiment, but that would require an open mind.

I have not earned your dearest rebuke...

Honestly, Seinfeld? That's a bandwagon I can't jump on.

On another note...

Are you mad at me? I wasn't trying to upset you, I was only curious. I thought you would understand I was teasing. Why did you leave without saying anything to me? If you were trying to hurt me, it worked.

James Joseph

He's living on our couch.



His name is JJ. He likes pasta, long walks on the beach, fast cars...

A Rant from the Empowered-Vagina Utopia

I am so sick and tired of everyone bitching because they can't get married benefits. I'm sick of hearing married folks say, "Well, that's what marriage is. If they wanted to be married, they should be straight and get married!"

Knock it off!

And the government, too, who feeds into this sense of entitlement given to people because they are married. Giving breaks and offering benefits with things as important as health care is ridiculous. Marriage isn't for everyone, and they shouldn't try to force people's hands to get married just to make life simpler. That is not what marriage is.

I am of the opinion that everyone should recieve equal benefits and rights when it comes to "married" v. "non-married" status. If you can makes things cheaper and easier, do it. We'll have a party instead, that will be the benefit. I think married people should celebrate in a way that emphasizes their commitment and love, with a special type of celebration only permitted to married people.

Gay people who aren't " legally married" but are committed and in love (hey! just like MARRIED STRAIGHT PEOPLE) should be able to have a celebration tailored to suit their interest, they shouldn't be forced to try and rationalize how they're just the same as straights. They're not. There's nothing wrong with not being exactly the same. No one should have the right to tell them they are not "allowed" to call themselves a family, no one should have the right to scoff at their commitment to each other. So she likes girls and he likes boys. Love is love is love, and if ANYONE is willing to make a real commitment to the person they are with, they should celebrate that, and we should celebrate with them. Again, this particular sort of celebration is only allowed to be held by married homosexuals, and it's a federal offense (in the evu) to cross-party.

My favorite celebration would be partying with the single people.

Single people -gay or straight- should celebrate their self-fullfilment, their individuality and (everyone's favorite!) SELF LOVE! That would be an awesome party. Party packs include AA batteries, four kinds of lube and a nudie mag. Any married people who hold this sort of party are immediately dragged into the street and shot, because no one wants to think about married people playing with themselves, I'm fairly sure.

Who's with me?